The Unbelonging - Joan Riley

The Unbelonging is a cruel book. One that everyone should read at least once, that should be included in a list of classics for teenagers to read at school, despite having sexual and violent content. Hell, especially because it approaches this kind of topics. They must be openly discussed, so that people may be aware of their existence, of how (not to) react if it happens to them; most importantly, to have empathy and some kind of understanding of how a mind that goes through all this shit works. If more people knew about all this, perhaps there would be more willing to help and change some things or another, so that at least the victim could get some help overcoming their trauma. 

I suppose you want to know what the story is about: we have this girl, Hyacinth, who moves to England to live with her father. She preferred her life in Jamaica, where she had her loving aunt, friends and no one judging her skin color. She has to deal with racism and rejection - at school, kids keep telling her how she shouldn't be staying in such a civilized place, that they "want no nigga here". The teachers ignore her suffering, pretending it's all kids game; at home, she still has to face rejection for that, and has to bear beatings, slavery work and sexual abuse coming from her own father. Hyacinth lives in constant fear and tension 24/7, never being able to relax even in sleep; she ends up becoming a very sad and secluded woman, ashamed of her skin, of her race, and of her experiences. She feels guilty for what happened to her, wishing she could be someone else so that no one would know about these events. She thinks about how everything would be okay if she had born white (or at least in a "pass for white" type of white skin) or, at the very least, if she had never left Jamaica. There is a point in her life where she just cannot cope anymore with the stress of rejection and closes up inside her land of daydreams.

The book also deals with the situation in Jamaica back in time, when it was being ruled mostly by white people, while practically all population was black. After her traumatic relationship with her father, Hyacinth started to consider that her people is indeed as fearful and savage as all white folks would tell her, and developed an internal racism which can be seen in her support for the white supremacy and even a sense of superiority over her own people, some of them her own friends. She's even glad not to be African black, but West Indian black. Hyacinth thinks that black people are dirty, noisy, obscene; and, after her father's attempt of rape, she became fearful of sex and men, associating it with rage and beating, but never told anyone for fear of more rejection. She never got any psychological help to overcome her traumas, nor accepted any point of view that contradicted her assumptions. More and more she turns to her world of dreams, where she was was never rejected, where there was a group of loving people around her. She did try getting up, to find a way to get back home, putting all her hopes in education. But, even when successful, reality is still far too horrible for her to be able to accept...

It is a depressing book. Horrible scenes, extremely sad passages, but it is also amazing; it felt very powerful. To how many women in the world stories like this must have happened? It is a must - it SHOULD be a must. And how come I have never heard of this author before?? No, a better question: why isn't it on sale, being printed? What about her other works of fiction? Only a few copies are available out there, all dating back from the 80's. It is not on stock on Amazon, BookDepository, nowhere. I just don't understand. I only know about it because my English Literature teacher put this book on our reading list for next semester, but it should be read by more people other than English majors! It is not a fun reading - it hurts. However, I'm sure that one of the most important things literature has to offer is to see other people's points of view, feel a bit of their world, be aware of others and, who knows, make the reader think of ideas to help them. After this reading, I kept thinking about how Hyacinth's life would have been so much easier if for instance, there was more space at school to discuss about racial and sexual topics - not all families have such background to provide for the kids (her father certainly didn't). No, unfortunately it wouldn't be an idea accepted in that time, but it should be nowadays. Why isn't it?? I AM SO MAD-

Telltale's Game of Thrones: The Lost Lords

I didn't expect to write anything about the Telltale series for Game of Thrones since I've already done it, but the second episode, The Lost Lords, got me really hooked. I'd say I'm more excited about this franchise than with the TV show! The game creates an atmosphere of tension and fear that suits this world perfectly; and now I feel way more connected to house Forrester, specially after all these terrible things they are being forced to face.

The aspect I like the most is that we get to play with these new characters while having the original ones from the books and show in supporting roles. It's awesome to interact with them, and to see those people we know so well through different perspectives. I personally loved to watch how Tyrion can be both friendly and fearsome - he offers you help, but only if it is useful for him too. Plus, he won't move a finger if anything happens to you after this deal. It's a side of him that only-show people never get to know. We also meet Jon Snow for the first time in a distant, higher position, and I thought it was pretty cool. Finally, if I already liked Margaery before, I'm even more enthusiastic about her now (plus, Natalie Dormer is awesome even in pixels). 

About the story itself, I thought that we are in a well-paced development. I saw that many people thought it to be a bit slow, but we are in a situation in which the priority is to make connection and finding allies, so physical action is obviously limited. In fact, one thing I'm loving about this series is that there is no focus in fights nor mindblowing scenarios, but in the development of the characters in this tense world, where anybody can make you fall. This is what the A Song of Ice and Fire saga is about, and the Telltale crew got it just right.

My 3 literary faves of 2014 - fanfiction version

I love fanfictions. I started reading them on a very early age - I guess the first one I got was a Card Captor Sakura one. But it was the Harry Potter fandom that made me love it; though these days I don't vary in these readings as much as I used to do. You'll see that, in the list below, there are only BBC Sherlock angst stories, having Sherlock and John as a romantic couple, cause that's like 85% of all fics I read this year. I'm thinking about diversifying more in 2015; anyway, these fics I selected are great ones nonetheless, and I must say I'd really like to have more people to talk about them... 

Cover by consultingpiskies

• More Things Than Are Dreamt Of (1electricpirate) - "In which John is (reluctantly) a wizard, Mycroft is (apparently) omniscient, and Sherlock is (surprisingly) oblivious".

I'm a sucker for Potter!lock, and this trilogy was one of the first ones I read. I don't see it being mentioned that much; at least, not as much as other fics of this theme. Which is a pity, because these stories are really awesome. First of all, the initial idea is great: it's funny to see John trying to hide his magic, and Sherlock eventually having to deal with its existence. I also love that it's not set in Hogwarts, what happens, like, 99% of the times? And the structure of mixing past, present and future makes the story even more exciting. I don't like giving too much away, so I'll just finish by saying that I recommend these fics a damn lot.

• Aparecium (1electricpirate) - "There’s no way anyone will know, no way for even Sherlock Holmes to deduce that today, just this once, John sat back and let the tea make itself."

MORE Potter!lock?? Hell yeah.

Yes, it's by the same author- in fact, it's an AU of the AU. 1electricpirate managed to create a story slightly based on another fic of her own and, in my opinion, it got even better. The premise is the same, but the plot, the character's back stories, and even the  are all different. And still the story manages to be faithful to both books and series. Again I'm not talking much to avoid spoilers, but if you are a fan of this kind of Sherlock fanfic, do not miss the opportunity. It's a great work and it's already on my list of all time favorite. However, I should point out that it's incomplete, a fact that's killing me slowly...

Cover by moonblossom

• A Beginner's Guide to Apiology (VictoryCandescence) - "John ad Sherlock meet for the first time as old men in Sussex".

Didn't your heart break just by reading this summary? Mine did. It was definitely the fic that's affected me the most during this year. The interaction between the two of them is awesomely written, and the themes it brings up - old age, youth, friedship, death, etc. - are treated in such a way that you enjoy the story with butterflies in the stomach both for happiness for the guys and fear for what it definitely coming. This fic has a great, exciting, and sad story, and raises many deep thoughts about life - well, at least it was for me. I won't say much more, only that I cried to sleep after finishing it...

So, if you are into angst, I'd say this is a must-read!

I want to read more fanfiction in 2015, so I'd love to hear some good recommendations from you! As you can see, I love Sherlock, but also A Song of Ice and Fire, Doctor Who, xxxHolic, Orphan Black, etc. My AO3 page is here. I'd also love to have some ideas and tips for me to write my own stories...

My 3 literary faves of 2014 - book version

I guess it's safe to say that this year was the best one ever in terms of reading since I came of age. Not only because I got through many stories, but also because I experienced many different things. I finally learned how to read poetry and got into non-fictional books; I read things I didn't want to but fell in love with them by the end, plus I did some great rereadings. Right now, I'm going through a reading slump, but I hope to keep all this excitement for literature during 2015.

Anyway, without further ado, here are my favorite readings for 2014 - no ranking, just the ones that gave me a lot to think about while I would drown in feels.

• Bartleby, The Scrivener - A Story of Wall Street (Herman Melville)

In the beginning, it was only a college reading. Then, the plot started to become into something so much more than just a short story - it was disturbing me, a feeling that any good classic should provide to the reader. But seriously, what would you do if your work colleague stopped doing anything simply because he or she "would rather not to"?
At first, I was really annoyed with this Bartleby guy, only to slowly realize that this was not a joke, or laziness, or anything. It's all about... emptiness, and being imprisoned in your own home; it's also about empathy, and society's disdain for individual lives. It kind of reminded me of Kafka's "The Metamorphosis".
The story of Bartleby was stuck in my head for some days - during finals weeks, in fact! All I wanted to do was to place myself in the middle of the campus and scream "I WOULD RATHER NOT TO".

• High Fidelity (Nick Hornby)

This book is great if you're looking for a reality shock - that is, if you're someone who's been living in a somewhat privileged social position. The protagonist is Rob, a guy in his thirties who basically lives in permanent adolescence. His relationships - all of them, not only the romantic ones - are usually a huge fail because he can't care enough about other people. All he worries about is himself. Do you think he has any clue of that? Ha.
One day, though, he finally decides to find out what is wrong with his traumatic experiences with women, and some enlightenment is shone on his brain. It's a light, funny reading, but there's this more serious side which I really enjoyed, and I'm even planning on picking this book again next month, one year after my first read. Oh, and let me also recommend the movie, which is an awesome adaptation, and has a great soundtrack!

• A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms (George R. R. Martin)

Another one which I plan on rereading soon. If you don't recognize this title, it's usually referred to as "Tales of Dunk and Egg" - those short stories that take place 90 years before the events of "A Game of Thrones". A time in which Targaryens still own the Iron Throne - in fact, there are too many Targaryens running around the continent. One of them, Aegon "Egg", becomes the squire of a simple man named Dunk.
Even though he says he's a knight, this guy has almost no experience with a sword and no future expectations whatsoever. Dunk is practically lost in a very dangerous land, and usually gets in trouble for being so innocent. His connection with a royal child is very important in some situations, but it doesn't guarantee a good ending.
Speaking of bad consequences, I was devastated and had tearing eyes by the end of the damn first story. I definitely recommend all three of them for any ASOIAF book fan. And I'm already eager for the fourth one - though I do prefer that our dear GRRM finish the oficial series soon...

Well, I wanted to talk about other readings, but then this post would be around 10 pages long... do check my Goodreads page for more recommendations; and if you like fanfictions, stay tuned for part two!

Playing the Game of Thrones

I don't consider myself a gamer, as I only play a selected variety of games to which I am familiar with - some of them I've been playing for good 15 years now, without ever getting tired. Therefore, I'm not that familiar with this kind of gaming experience by Telltale, but I can say that I'm really enjoying their new release, based on the story of A Song of Ice and Fire.

Something that I immediately loved about this game is that we follow and control a Westerosi family that is unknown even for book readers, the Forresters of Ironrath. They were vassals of house Stark and supported King Robb during the War of the Five Kings. Oh, my blood ran cold when I saw that the beginning of the story takes place in the night of the Red Wedding... the Forresters lost their lord and his oldest son on this night, and even though we work very hard to make things better for them, the sense of doom is always lingering. To make matters worse, Ramsay Snow appears later in the story, and all you wanna do is to yell for the remaining Forresters to run for their lives.

Another great thing in this game is that we have the Point of View of the less powerful members of the family - we don't get the great lord (after all, he is killed within five minutes after pressing "Play") nor any of the other strong people around; we control the squire, the daughter in King's Landing, and the small kid who suddenly has to deal with ruling this house in despair. Also, the focus is far from being in fighting or killing, it's all about the choices you make - the fate of the characters depend on what you choose to do or to ignore; on what you choose to say, or on what you decide to conceal. Relationships, connections and important decisions are influenced by the paths you take, and I really loved it.

My choices

However... according to some comments I've been reading, it doesn't matter how different are the choices you make, as the main plot doesn't change as much as it should. That thing happens to him in the end of the episode despite how well the meeting goes, and that person is not able to do that other thing anyway. I may be wrong, but apparently there are no alternative endings, and knowing this was very disappointing to me... still, there are 5 episodes left, and a lot of things are yet to be developed. I do hope that we can tell more than one story with this game.

I'm still very excited about it! Already planning to play it again very soon; I want to see what changes if I answer differently and do something else in certain scenes. And I admit that I still have a bit of hope to change that desperate ending...